1986-1992: Simple Knocks: Home Visitation Stories from Deacon Tom & Mary Jane Fox, Part 1
Each story begins with a simple knock.
There is the young woman in her thirties who stands at her door in shock when we say we are from the Catholic Church. She begins weeping and invites us in. She tells us that two years ago her baby drowned, and she has not been able to pray until just last evening, when she expressed a desire to return to God.
There is the woman in her sixties who appears so solemn and sad when she answers our knock. She invites us in, and tells us she was raised Catholic but no longer attends Mass. She tells us her son was killed by his associate. She says the killer died in a brawl with the police. Although he is dead, she confesses she cannot forgive him for taking her son. She suffers from debilitating asthma and other complications that prevent her from living a normal life. She knows her bitterness and lack of forgiveness are the cause, but she cannot go forward.
There is the young single mother of a boy of eight, who is so worried because her son is experiencing constant nightmares that are affecting his schoolwork. She is a faithful Catholic and is desperate for her child. Tom blesses her apartment, and Mary Jane gives the young boy a prayer card with an image of a guardian angel leading two small children across a bridge. We speak to him about the reality of his Guardian Angel and how he is a powerful friend. We tell him to ask his angel to lead and guide him every day, and advise his mother and him to pray the Rosary daily. We visit them two weeks later, and the mother is so happy to tell us that her son no longer has nightmares and is doing much better in school.
There is the remarkable story of a woman, divorced, single, and living alone in an apartment. She invites us to come in, and is very interested that someone from the Catholic Church should visit her, because it is just in the last few months she has decided to return to the Church. She explains she has been recently diagnosed with incurable cancer, and is so thankful for this diagnosis. She says the reality of her illness caused an awakening that is guiding her to put her life in order, especially her spiritual life. She tells us that returning to the Church and experiencing reconciliation through the Sacrament of Confession have brought peace and joy to her life despite her terminal cancer. She expresses to us how the sacraments remind her that Jesus invites us to come to Him and offers His companionship, which brings peace and direction. We have reflected on her testimony often over the years. Her story has helped us encourage others confused by life’s mysteries.
One woman we visit is so distraught because her daughter is dying of cancer. The daughter left and married outside the Church years before, and this has caused a break in their relationship. She says her daughter will not allow her to visit her or her children. She asks if we would visit her daughter, hoping the visit will reconnect her daughter to God and to her. We go, and ask the daughter if she is open to prayer. She agrees. We see that she is in a lot of pain from cancer. She tells us that she sees no hope for reconciliation with her mother, as too much damage has been done. We visit with her regularly. We tell her of the importance of the sacraments and how, through the Eucharist and Sacrament of Reconciliation, Jesus comes to us and is present with us. With each visit, she becomes more receptive and tells us at one of our visits that she has decided to confess her sins and receive the Eucharist. We are overjoyed, as we can see her cancer has worsened.
Soon after, her mother calls to let us know her daughter has reunited with her. She says, “She called me and asked me to come visit. There were so many tears and so much joy!” We learn a few weeks later that the daughter had died. Through tears of sorrow and joy, her mother tells us, “We made peace, and she died in God’s peace.”
As we reminisce about these visits, we can see how God weaves a thread of grace through the lives of His people. We see how a visit with one person helps to bring peace to another, and how a simple knock and offer to pray weaves that thread in the most unexpected ways.
One unexpected way is a phone call we receive. A family calls asking us to visit their relatives living within our parish boundaries. They are concerned because they are not attending Church. They hope that if someone outside the family goes to visit them, they may be open to returning. We have received other similar calls and marvel how news of our ministry is getting around, even outside our parish. We discover it is best not to call ahead and ask for an appointment, as it is too easy to deny a visit over the phone. We add these additional visits to our normal route.
Before we knock, we pray, asking the Holy Spirit to guide us and lead us in our conversation, “Lord, may your name be honored and blessed in this household.” No one is home.
We return two more times at different hours of the day, but we never find anyone home. We pray each time before leaving. After several weeks, the family who requested the visit for their relatives called to thank us. They inform us that the family has registered in the parish and is now attending weekly Mass! Prayer bears fruit, such as it did in this case.
God weaves His thread of grace in so many unexpected ways, and we have learned that we should never assume where He wants it or how He wants it done. Our work is to simply knock; God will do the rest.
Deacon Tom and Mary Jane witness through their home visitation visits what they call a “Thread of Grace.”
The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines grace as the free and undeserved gift that God gives us to respond to our vocation to become his adopted children.
- As sanctifying grace, God shares his divine live and friendship with us in a habitual gift, a stable and supernatural disposition that enables the soul to live with God, to act by his love.
- As actual grace, God gives us the help to confirm our lives to his will.
- Sacramental grace and special graces (charisms, the grace of one’s state of life) are gifts of the Holy Spirit to help us live out our Chistian vocation (nos. 1996, 2000. cf. 654).
When we seek and strive to live in a state of grace, the Holy Spirit joins us to Divine Life by threading grace given to us and weaving it through those we encounter. We do not see the heavenly tapestry he is creating now, but one day we will and it will be beautiful!
A quote by St. Athanasius says it this way:
"[God] gave himself to us through his Spirit. By the participation of the Spirit, we become communicants in the divine nature . . . For this reason, those in whom the Spirit dwells are divinized (CCC no. 1988)."
