There is an old joke about the different rings in marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. But it is not only in married life that one wears that last ring; the reality of suffering is all around us.
From our mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional suffering in the very depths of our being to the events that happen in the wider world, suffering is an inescapable part of our human existence. Some of our attempts to escape suffering altogether result in greater suffering, even if it is delayed or displaced.
A Loving Act
Many of us choose to suffer alone, and many are left to suffer in isolation. However, as Christians, suffering should not be viewed as an individual event. We want to be there for someone who is hurting. The human condition of suffering implies a need for human connection. When someone says they are suffering, we stop what we are doing and listen to them explain their pain. It can also be a loving act to let someone into our own suffering—to accept the love of God through those who want to walk alongside us on the road to Calvary.
Need for Connection
In our faith, Mary is there with us. She has also experienced real human suffering. We reflect on that in our times of fear but choosing to trust, as when Archangel Gabriel appeared to Mary, as well as in her suffering of finding a place to give birth, in losing her young son for three days in Jerusalem, and of course, in the agony of her heart as she witnessed the crucifixion of her son.
“She stood in keeping with the divine plan, suffering grievously with her only-begotten Son. There she united herself, with a maternal heart, to His sacrifice, and lovingly consented to the immolation of this Victim which she herself had brought forth” (Lumen Gentium, the Second Vatican Council's Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, no. 58).
Mary’s Suffering
In our faith tradition, we also learn that we can be united in the sufferings of Christ on the Cross. As St. Paul said,
“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church” (Colossians 1:24).
We can prayerfully choose to connect our suffering to Christ's on the cross. This can bring us consolation and hope.
St. Paul on Suffering
Thus, we have both Mary and Jesus helping us connect to the spiritual reality that is hidden but possible in our suffering. Mary is there to be with us in our times of trouble, offering our intentions to her son, and we get to be fully united with Christ in allowing our sufferings to work through His greater glory for the salvation of the world.
Daniel Quintero is a stand-up comedian currently attending Mary, Mother of the Church Catholic Parish, and a Friend of Pilgrim Center of Hope. His favorite motto: “Awkwardness does not exist.”
Pilgrim Center of Hope provides events, experiences, and media; initiating a desire in people to encounter Jesus Christ in their daily journey of life. See what’s happening & let us journey with you! Visit PilgrimCenterOfHope.org.
