I met Dr. Margarett Schlientz when she spoke at a couple of the Catholic Women’s Conferences in San Antonio; afterwards, I would call upon her for her insight on a specific topic, confident that her wisdom would be encouraging.
Dr. Margarett Schlientz entered Eternal life in May of 2024; however, her teachings continue to ring throughout the world.
She was an administrator and professor at Marquette University, where she developed the integration of the psychological and spiritual relationship necessary for human growth and development. She was also a spiritual director, retreat master, consultant to over 50 religious communities, and presented over 1,000 conferences and workshops for healthcare organizations, parishes, dioceses, and religious orders, focusing on healing.
A topic she often presented was self-love. “Self-Love,” she explained, “is the basic entity of our humanity. Self-Love is turning every flaw toward compassion, forgiveness, and understanding, and accepting your negative thoughts, strengths, and weaknesses.”
Think about it: we were created in God’s image, in His love. He breathed life into us and gave us a heart to love. However, due to negative experiences, wounds, or false expectations, we can end up being hard on ourselves, which can result in sadness.
The Son of God, Jesus, gave us the two greatest commandments related to love; Jesus said:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)
Note the last few words: Love your neighbor as yourself. Here is Self-Love! We are called to live a radical and true love, and it begins with loving God first, the source of love.
Dr. Margarett offered these steps to combat a lack of healthy self-love:
- Do things you love and take time for yourself. Our lives may be caught up in a lot of activities and work that may prevent us from doing things we really enjoy. I believe this is where we need to mark time out in our calendar for ourselves, so we don’t allow time and the busyness of life to control us.
- Learn to say “no” without guilt. This is where the virtue of prudence is helpful. Prudence helps us manage our time and balance our day. By being prudent, we can think wisely before making decisions.
- Don’t expect perfection. Learn to forgive yourself and be compassionate with yourself. We all make mistakes, and we need to realize that nothing is completely perfect. The virtue of patience is important here. By being patient, we realize we need to try again. Dr. Margarett states:
"When we have Self-Love, we can openly own our mistakes and work toward changing them."
- Do good for someone else. A young man shared with me how much he enjoyed doing good for someone else. His mother passed away recently, and as her caregiver for years, he learned so much about love, especially his love for his mother, and he gained a deeper realization of his own self-respect. Now that she was gone, he wanted to continue to do good for others. He said: “To help others is to be human, to be caring, to be aware of others’ needs.”
- Think of all the good you have done. Take time to think of good things you have done, whether it was recent or those times in the past when you did good, and others benefited.
Dr. Margarett concludes:
"Self-Love is not selfishness; it is owning the gifts God has given you, God’s presence within you, and all the ways He calls you to utilize the best of who you are."
Let us take time to thank God for their maternal guidance.
Whether your mother is living or deceased, remember them with prayer and by thanking them for the gift of your life. Pope Francis once reflected,
“The presence of a mother within the family is so important for the stability and growth of this fundamental cell of society, that it should be recognized, commended and supported in every possible way.”
I am also grateful for the spiritual motherhood of many women in my life, including Dr. Margarett Schlientz. Now is the time to heed her message. Remember; you are not alone. God is with you and will guide you.
Thank you, Dr. Margarett Schlientz, for your words of wisdom. Rest in peace.
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)
Originally written by Pilgrim Center of Hope for Today's Catholic newspaper.
Mary Jane Fox, D.C.H.S. is Co-Founder & Co-Director of Pilgrim Center of Hope with her husband, Deacon Tom Fox. The two left their careers after a profound conversion experience and began working full-time in ministry at their parish in 1986. After several years and having impacted tens of thousands of families, the Foxes founded Pilgrim Center of Hope in 1993 as a response to the Church’s call for a New Evangelization. Mary Jane is an invested member of the Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem, a Dame of the Holy Sepulchre.
Pilgrim Center of Hope provides events, experiences, and media; initiating a desire in people to encounter Jesus Christ in their daily journey of life. See what’s happening & let us journey with you! Visit PilgrimCenterOfHope.org.
